My Weather-ality

I took a silly quiz about my personality being a weather description. And I was SUNNY. Read on:

You Are Sunny

You are an upbeat, positive person who refuses to get too down in the dumps. You realize that life is short, and you know you're going to try to have as much fun as possible! You try to laugh, play, and love every day. You believe that happiness is a choice. You take your responsibilities seriously, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself in the process.

When you talk to a stranger---or a new friend

I had lunch with, hopefully, a new friend today. We had interesting conversation, to say the least. And she helped me view myself in a different light. Sometimes we go through life viewing our personal problems/issues as mere "stains on our shirts." Something to ignore, get over, ya know? We don't stop to think how they affect our appearance, our self, to others. Then you meet a stranger and you casually talk about your stain. They give you a fresh perspective. Something your usual contacts overlook because they know you so well already. I've just had that experience today. I discussed my bitches about my life. My new friend pointed in new directions for me to go about solving them. Not as in new avenues to travel, but new ways of viewing my current bitches. Which then led to some "ahh-ha's" and "I see's" that helped me understand why I may have been failing to solve my problems.

The point? Talk to someone you don't know very well, thats trustworthy, to get a fresh outlook. Meet new people. Get a therapist. Never give up.

Hey, Where have I been?

I have been NOT around. I have had so much going on. Work, kids, hubby out of town, yadda,, yadda. Plus I got pregnant and miscarried. A lot of stuff, folks. Now, I have been thinking about school again and writing a book. You know, I don't know what I want to do, but survive. No, I want to do more than survive. My life is so...idk...just life. I want to know the meaning of it all. Is that ever possible? It would suck to never know--or yet worse, to know at the end. I bought a Phish CD for the first time ever. I dig them. Why didn't I look into them sooner? I heard of them when I was younger, but never interested. Boy, did I miss something. And I just watched a clip on youtube from David Letterman about the group. The CD I bought was their last CD because they had just announced (in 2004) that they were no longer performing together as a group. Talk about being late for something (a fad). The CD I bought has an intro titled Scents and Subtle Sounds. There is also a track titled the same. I love the intro version. Its so on-point to what I am about right now. Which, by the way is confusing to me. So its just a tip to the iceberg, but it explains a lot. I found the intro version on youtube. And for your enjoyment it goes into the actual song. Enjoy.

I like Jerks

I'm so glad to see that a long and tired phase of Hip Hop is passing by. And I was wondering, just the other day, when baggy pants would go out of style. Thank you. I still see sagging though--just no bagging. It looks like the 80's has hit this area too. I'm not complaining. I love the 80's. I loved baggy pants too, but it was getting old. And no, the 80's are not old--its coming back. I really like the Jerk style. It's Emo and Hip Hop. Punk. 80's. Just plain ol' new!

Apparently, according to the infamiss bobb blog, there is some JERK thing going on in California. I have to agree with her: Whatever it is, I like it.

Oh, and check out his cute shaved eyebrows. Reminds me of Middle School. And so does that name New Boyz--like New Kids.... I feel like a teeny bopper again. I can't wait to hear this up in the club!

Other Blogs and Being Jaded

I have been looking over other blogs--and following many of them. I find them chock full of ideas. I just love how now-a-days one can just find so many ideas and thoughts, and people putting themselves out there (for real or for show) at the tip of your fingers. I know, that reference was so cliche. But, I don't care. It's how I feel. And speaking of how I feel and cliche, I have been feeling jaded lately.

I have heard that term so many times and never understood it. I have tried to use it, but it never felt right--until I was actually jaded. Now, I know. Sometimes you don't know something until you are something. Or is that always the case; and we as know-it-all's think a book or dictionary or college degree enables to know without being. "Being jaded means.... and I know this because I read the definition in Websters new Slang Dictionary." The weird thing is I was sitting on my porch feeling all--well jaded--and that is exactly what thought popped into my head when I was trying to understand the way I felt inside. And it was like "I feel so jaded. This is jaded."

And you must wonder, "Why do you feel jaded lately, Lady J." Ooh, that's a tongue twister: jaded lately lady j, jaded lately lady j. OK, back to normal. Because I feel everything is on me. Or against me. Well, not against me, just not for me. And maybe not on me, just there in my way. A "why me" complex. Which is bad. That is victim thinking. And for those of you who know me, I have been in a positive flow. I have been trying to do self-learning and discovering. I want to know the "what else is out there." And victim thinking is not going to get me there. In the middle of my delayed Quarter-life Crisis, this is the one thing I have learned. Life is what you believe it to be. Whether by Law of Attraction, Self Fulfilling Prophecy, Thought Patterns, whatever. Being Jaded is accepting the blah. And I don't want blah. I want "Ahh" Like angels singing, the ultimate life revelation, the I see the light. And for once, can I type something without fucking up the words "the" and "and" throughout the entire thing?

Urban Dictionary Def for Jaded
I think they got it. Again, it's hard to know jaded until you feel it.


Here is a song/lyric video that totally gets what I feel. And conveniently, it uses "jaded".

Reap What You Sow

I want to talk about the Positive Affirmation for today that I have on the left side of my blog (its a box after the twizzler explanation). If you are not reading on Monday, May 18th: The PA says "Reap What You Sow." In other words: you get what you plant, you get what you give, and other such phrases. So I thought....

I want to talk about this because I feel cheated at work. I was not able to get my food discount today (or for the rest of this week, for that matter) because I did not do my deep clean last week. Its a rule, so why whine (or whinge?) if I break the rule and get reprimanded? First, I do it 95% of the time. Second, I've been bringing my lunch and didn't have the time to prep today. It's like I forgot to bring it just so I could be told my problem. Because I would have never noticed the tiny sign with my name on it that is beside all the other signs which regularly loiter in this area. And third, they decided to enforce the rule on the week I honestly forget to do it! Come on! I've been a bit bummed about it and wanted to rebel. OK, Lady J how old are you again?

So, I came to blog about the PA because when I read it at first, I was like, "Duh, we hear this all the time, but is it not "You reap what you sow?" Yes, it is. Usually, you read or hear "You reap what you sow." As in, you get what you give, etc, etc... "So why is this one different?", I thought. That,my friends, is what is so important here. Instead of warning you, this phrase is telling you to do. Reap what you sow.

Do you get it? Reap what you sow. Now do what you have done--experience it to its fullest. Cause and Effect. The ripples in the pond have returned to you, my friend. And that is exactly what has happened to me. I resisted and I received resistance. I don't like doing deep cleans so I put it off until the last minute. And sometimes I run out of time-- forgetting when there is no room to forget. In turn, my manager "resisted" giving me a discount. I didn't pay much for my meal, by all means, but I did learn a lesson today. You really do reap what you sow.

So, where in your life are you putting up resistance, or being lazy,or being doubtful? Be careful or you may not like how your reaping turns out. It's like the old saying goes, "You've made your bed, now lay in it."

Happy Birthday Papa

Today is my Papa's birthday! He would be 78 years old. I love him so much. I wish he was here so I could tell him. And I still hold the day special, even if he is not here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!

And in honor of his birthday I will write one of his favorite quotes:

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on."
--Tony Romano

$20 Meal--for someone else

No, this is not a contest thingy. It's about an incident that happened to me a few months ago. I just forgot to blog about it. It is where I paid $20 for someone Else's meal--unwillingly. Yep, I got jipped instead of tipped!

Let's rewind to the night before. I was at Wally World and a cute little journal-type notebook was placed into my buggy. And I walked out with it. When I noticed, I chose not to return it. Hey, the alarm didn't sound, so I thought it was a freebie. This story is just part of my bigger story.

Now, to the day of the $20 meal: I wait tables at a local diner. I agreed to wait at a different location than my home store. I got my tickets mixed up and gave the wrong ticket to the jippers. They ended up paying only $15 something for their meal when it was $34 something! The rule is if the mistake is yours then you have to pay. Not food mistakes--unless its a habit. Only if its a mistake made by you that could be avoided. This was such a mistake.

So, I paid the fee. I knew it was my fault, so I couldn't argue. I then began to wonder "Why me?" Was it the notebook I ripped off of WM? Was it because I didn't go to Church on Good Friday? Was it because they needed it more than me? Whatever it was, I finally soothed myself with one thought: It was just $20. I'm not poor, living on the street and I will survive. It was just $20. It's not like $100 or $1000---just $20. I can survive this loss. And that was comforting in and of itself. I can survive a $20 loss. I'm that fortunate.

So I feel that if it cost me $20 to learn a lesson about being fortunate, then it was a lesson well paid for. And cheaply too, I might add!

To Whinge or Whine...

Whinge: I always thought my grandfather had made this word up--a screw up of whine. Actually, he was right all along. I'm finding that to be the case more and more these days. Check it out on Merriam Webster Word of the Day.

The Lioness

I am a lioness
strong and mighty
I am a lioness
ready to take charge
I am a lioness
capable of providing for my family
I am a lioness
comfortable with my sexiness
I am a lioness
hear me roar
I am a lioness
my cubs think I am their personal jungle gym!

My Day at PSC

The visit to Piedmont Surgical Center was a great experience--Thank you Robert and staff! Everyone there was extremely nice. They were all so patient with the obvious interruption of a visitor to the back of house. I have to say, I feel safe now knowing how sanitary everything is kept. I was only allowed to view from a certain distance, but still got to see enough to know how close Surgical Techs are to the operation. RIGHT THERE! Hands on! A surg. tech assists the surgeon. And not just, "Scalpel." Both techs I had the luxury to see were using these mini-fork looking things (I can't remember the name) to hold back the skin and flesh. All while the surgeon cut the patient. It was exciting. Yes, and gross. But, you don't think, "Yum," when you handle raw chicken the first time either. Or any time, actually. It was a great expereince. And it did not scare me away. So, after checking out some RN Programs, I'll decide on what my next move is. A lady at PSC advised me on RN programs at GTCC or Winston State since I already have a BIO background. We'll see. I'm excited, none the less. A lesson learned, a step forward.

Today

Ok, I came across Awesome Blogger last night in my search of things. It was a vlog about personal blogging vs personal branding. I found it helpful to my new blognessness. Tongue twister. Anyways. I've been thinking about what I want this blog to be---a journal online or something to attract others to myself. Right now I only have two followers--one of my BFF's Melissa (who hasn't done anything to her site!) and some chick named Poison Ivy who loves to write poetry and be cynical. I've actually become good friends with her. My other BFF Karen won't get on here--she's a paranoid freak, but I love her. I can see her on Facebook. She's always blowing it up (to rephrase a friend of mine named Shawn). Anyways for all my loyal fans, I shall return........

ECSTATIC! X 2

I called and made the visit time at Piedmont Surgical Center for Monday!!!! OMG!!!! I'm so excited. Ecstatic. Give Lady J a Hoo-rah!

P.S. I wanted to add that I thanked the man for this opportunity and he said "Someone did the same for me when I was your age. And I wanted to pay it forward." Isn't that sweet. See, it's the little things that you do for people that can make a big difference in their lives--and then possibly for somebody else. Unbelievable. I keep coming across this "Sweeter Side of Life" theme.

ECSTATIC!

I am ecstatic! As you can tell by the entry title. WHY? Because, I have been invited by the head Anesthesiologist at Piedmont Surgical Center to "have a look around" and see if I like the idea of being a Surgery Tech. If I do, then I'll get started at GTCC for 1-2 semesters (including a summer term.) I'm so happy about this opportunity. I'll either find a way to fit my BIO degree into a career or I'll learn that ST is not for me. At that point, I'll pursue Nutrition.

A Comment of My Own

I wanted to comment on my last entry: I do not think anyone is a non-deserving dog. The whole picture caught exactly how I felt. Which is, "Hey, I should have a cheeseburger too! What am I, an undeserving cat? Notice me!" That's all. But, I feel better anyway--no more boo-hooing over it.

Self Learning Insight for Today

OK, today I was on Facebook. I went to add someone as my friend. I viewed her profile and began hating myself immediately. She is sooooo Mrs. Successful. I envy her soooo much. I know all this is personal, but bear with me--I'm going somewhere with it. And I'm sure you ask, aren't you successful, Lady J? My first response is NO! I could bring you down with my whys and woes, but I have a better point to make.

So, I email my BFF and tell her how much I hate myself (an email with only I hate myself--that actually says a lot). Wait, I lied--I did put that I needed to visit my fave affirmation site. It's just all the "I hate myselves" clouded my mind. And so that is exactly what I did (www.louisehay.com). I read the affiramtion and smirked to myself. How odd, it said "I experience love wherever I go."

And here I was hating myself. Exactly the affirmation I needed. But, I didn't get the everywhere I go part--What, does everyone love me and like me and I'm so happy, yadda yadda... I know, I know, not positive. Then my mom calls. Doesn't that still make you feel like a kid?--My mom's calling me. Anyway. I tell her my situation. She gives me a little pep talk. Again I'm feeling kiddy ;).

In a nut shell, she tells me I can't go comparing apples to oranges. I'm successful in areas that [the Facebook character] is not and likewise she is successful in areas that I am not. So why does she have to be successful in areas that I want to be successful in too? Whine wine wine, more cheese please.

We are successful in our own ways. My mom assured me that I am not a failure. And I have many things to be grateful for. Be appreciative. Mom, you are sooooo right. Which brings me back to the affirmation. I get "the wherever I go" part. Wherever I go. Did you get it too? I experience love wherever I go. My success is my own, where I make it, where I want it to be. And I should be grateful. Not worried about FB Character!

So for those of you who don't get affirmations: they are inspirational quotations that you repeat to yourself. In other words you are telling yourself something so much you actually believe it and then it becomes true for you. No, I don't mean "I'm going to win the lottery. I'm going to win the lottery." Its changing your own belief patterns. We all have set ways of thinking. Only, they aren't set. They are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed. For example, you are always thinking people are against you. My husband feels this way when he is driving---you think I'm kidding. >:( ). Whenever you get those uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, etc, you repeat an appropriate affirmation until you feel well, balanced, centered, whatever you want to call it, again. This works for many situations and emotions. I've been doing some self study lately. And affirmations have been the biggest part, because I had not got the hang of Flowdreaming. I tell you, honestly, I have been feeling so happy.

Today I realized this because I was laughing at myself and finding the sweeter side of life. Like, how I'm a good speller--just not a good typer (typos), he he. Wow, this is my longest blog to date.

Lady J.

Chick This Out

I love this video! It rocks. I keep coming across the same theme--or thought--in life: The little things in life are what make life so sweet--bearable, downright enjoyable. And I have to say that Chik-Fil-A makes life so sweet, especially that yummy tea. And waffle fries. I prefer the classic sandwich over nuggets. But my kids are all about them. Anyways, I hope this video sweetens things up a bit for ya!

For the Love of Paper...

I have to say that after running out of toilet paper today, I agree with Annie Howes of Etsy. She came to mind when I realized I loved toilet paper too. You'll have to read her blog entry "3 new reasons to love paper.." to understand the reference. I said to my husband, who whined about going now, "I have to have toilet paper everytime I go to the bathroom--no matter what I do, so I need to go now." It's the little things in life that matter so much.

A New Leaf

Hello everyone! I am here. I need ideas to write about. I've been so busy trying to be new--transforming into a new me. I have been reading Tony Robbins, Louise Hay and I just came across Flowdreaming. And I've been on facebook a lot. Blogging isn't like Facebook, which is more like emailing. You just post and wait. Blogging is making a space that is interesting to many people, people with certain interests. I want to blog. So as I transform myself, I will transform my blog. I was all about NKOTB. A phase of excitement over going to their concert. But I am soo interested in many things. Well, here's to a new me, a new blog, a new way of expressing myself--and discovering what I want to express!

The Why Cafe

I read this awesome little book titled "The Why Cafe." It was a very interesting read. An eye opener--or mind opener. In short it's about a guy who ends up in this strange, omniscient cafe. The menu asks 3 questions: Why are you here?; Are you afraid of death?; Are you happy? The menu changes to where it sounds like he is asking himself the questions--Why am I here?, etc. The book is about finding your purpose. Ask yourself these questions. I did. I'm not sure if I answered the first one, but I'm trying. Its suggested to try different things to see what you are good at and enjoy. That would be your purpose. Anyways, that is what I am doing. I have always loved to write. I want to write professionally for magazines or do novel writing. SO. I am going to practice here. You will see "articles" on my blog. I beg you to respond and criticize me. I need the encouragement and help.